he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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