u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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