put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
