IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
