when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
