Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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