4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
