i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
