just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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