Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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