stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize