standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
