3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
