you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize