we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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