He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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