You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I have post one night stand depression
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
