Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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