Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
