i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
