I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he shaved USA in his pubs
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
did you just send me my own nude
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
