I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
wow bdsm is so cute
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