I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
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BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
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Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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