Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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