she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
