It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
