i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
