I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
