Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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