Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
