Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
