I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
