I will die if light touches me.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
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I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
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And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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