considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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