having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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