I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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