ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she smelled like a LAN party
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
