hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
