I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
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I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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