There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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