after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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