I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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