i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
