3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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