thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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