i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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