it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
