Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
