I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
