If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We don't watch enough power rangers
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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