Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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