you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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