Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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