my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
