She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
try to milk me bitch
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
