how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
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She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
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Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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