the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
