I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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