you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
